• Angelica Larsson

Back to work Part 2 | Blog

Uppdaterat: 9 mars 2021

Hello my lovelies! So now I have worked another two days. The Friday was very uneventful though I did suggest that I could organize our storage and got positive

response to that as they had been considering that. My boss and I conversed for awhile and got suggestions to how he wanted it and I would use that as a template. So whenever I had a bit of time I would use it on that.



On a the Monday I felt down it can be like that some days I feel a bit better others I wonder how I am going to make it through the day and I informed my co-workers of how I was feeling so they can take that into consideration and also be aware in case they don't understand my mood and don't misunderstand. Communication is key.


It is vacation periods at this time and one of my co-worker had been away and today when she entered and saw me she blanked for longer than usual and then she burst into joy hugging me. It was great and it did help bring my spirit up a bit. We spoke for a bit over a cup of coffee and it was nice catching up a little before working she's a wonderful woman. She noted that I had lost weight which I have and she asked whether it was due to my illness or something else and I explained it's because I have changed my diet and that I am now vegan.


Being the sweetheart she is she reacted with curiosity however my other co-worker reacted with disgust and disbelief and kept saying that she can't understand how

someone would make a choice like that. I didn't comment and let her rage about

the topic and honestly it shocked me I never took her for such a harsh judgemental

person and it worries me how much hate and disgust people feel towards people who

are vegan. So to choose to value life over death is repulsive according to some I will never argue with someone who can't hold a civil discussion about matters such as this as it isn't worth my time. I believe in being loving, caring and understanding.


The day went about as usual however I noted something, well rather I had noticed

this the other days too but I didn't think much of it but now it seemed like there was more to it than I originally thought. One of my co-worker, one that I feel dearly towards and always spoken well about was behaving weird and she had been every single day since I returned and I can't help but feel that it's due to me which is so odd because we have always had good chemistry and I'd hate for that to change. She also helped me during my burnout and was the one at work that I turned to talk about this subject but now on two occasions on this day she made me feel like an outsider both due to her acting different around me and also her harsh words about me being vegan.


I have tried to put this out of my mind but it's been tough and it honestly brings

my motivation down to come back to work. I need all the support I can get and this

really affects my mental health and I honestly hope this doesn't cause a panic attack.


It's now Friday and I have officially managed to work one and a half week it took a lot of strength to make it out the door each day and I honestly feel both a sense of relief and pride that I have taken this step in my recovery and managed to stick to it.


It's officially the first day of my planned vacation from work and I will have three weeks of holiday. I believe it's a good slow start to getting myself back to work, to not stress out my mind on a too rushed scale and I am looking forward to planned time off. We're going to explore Sweden which gives me a sense of relief my mind can't handle the thought of

doing anything that is outside my comfort zone.


I wanted to share what's happened since last blog and it's been rather uneventful as work is going more as routine however my co-worker who was being rather harsh actually came up to me and apologized it appears that she was in this mood towards everyone. I am just happy she realized what she was doing and took responsibility for it.


Now for chemistry I believe we all click different with different people with some we just feel an instant connection with others it takes time but it doesn't mean that time isn't worth taking. I have a few co-workers I feel like I can truly be myself with who loves and accepts me for that as I do with them and luckily for me I got the chance to work a bit with a few of them and it helps ease me into work. We had moments where we all sat and had coffee conversing, laughing and feeling genuinely content.


Other than work I also had a doctors appointment for my asthma, I have yearly check-ups to see how it's going. You see I have had asthma since I was thirteen I am now thirty-five and I have done these check-up ever since. My asthma was difficult to deal with at a younger age and I had to go to the emergency room because I panicked when I couldn't breath. I have learned how to cope with it and how to try and stay as calm as I can when my asthma kicks in and like much else taking my medicine became routine. I would take my morning and evening medicine but I would also take my other inhaler which is meant for use when I have breathing issues as a pre-emptive before work, exercise and events.


I did this so I would feel a sense of stability because I knew I would be okay because I take care of my health. Where am I getting with this, well during my visit to my doctor we did the regular tests to see how I breath normally and how big of a breath I can take and then once more after I have inhaled my medicine. My doctor looks at me and asked if I

have ever been off my medicine in which I say no, no one have ever suggested that before. He explains that with medicine I have about 1% improvement and with the dose I take he doesn't see why this haven't been brought up. It's very common to grow out of your asthma when you get it at a young age.


So I have since not taken any medicine and I will book a new appointment to take these tests again to see how the results will be. I haven't really felt the need to take them either I feel so stomped. I have now been without my medicine since the 12 of August.


I will be back at work this week and I will eventually update you all on my progress but for now we will get back to recipes and my vacation blogging.


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